Moderator or Abstainer

One of my co-workers asked me recently if I was a moderator or an abstainer and it’s kind of stuck with me (shoutout to you, Ang <3).

She was asking, when it comes to altering my habits am I someone who has to completely abstain in order to succeed or am I someone who can moderate my behavior to get the results I’m hoping for. I answered quickly that I was a moderator, but after thinking about this for a few weeks I think I may have it all wrong.

If you’ve been around me lately you’ve probably heard me say that I need a break, that I need to “reel it in”, or that I need to simply slow down. When I say these things I’m talking in terms of always being on the go but not simply for the fact that I’m tired of constantly moving but because my being on the go implies money being spent, drinks being had, food being eaten, and hours of sleep being lost. My being on the go has been causing me to slip into a toxic cycle of doing things that make me feel like I’m not being my best self- such as staying out because the music is just THAT good or eating cheese fries because #yolo- instead of doing things that make me feel like I’m taking steps to move my life forward. And as a pretty reflective person, if I don’t feel like I’m taking steps in a positive direction, I might as well go to sleep and try again tomorrow because I am SO hard on myself.

I complain all the time that I need more sleep, I need to save more money, I need to eat healthier, I need to go to the gym more, yadda yadda yadda. But when it comes to doing these things my approach is to moderate. To let myself have a Coke Icee twice a week rather than four times, to go to the gym three times a week instead of two, to buy just two shirts rather than spending hundreds. BUT, I’ve been doing it all wrong.

Convincing myself that I am a moderator has been a way for me to take the easy way out. Acting in moderation is something that I’m realizing I’m not very good at, and it wasn’t until a week or so ago that I realized this. But the good news is that I have realized it, and you better believe that this revelation will change the way I go about things in the future.

So, are you a moderator or an abstainer? I hope you really answer this question and don’t answer impulsively like I did with the answer that lets YOU take the easy way out.

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